Reshma Jasmin
Arts Scholar
Reflections
Semester 1
I think the required graded items/course load for university courses was much more manageable and reasonable than I had expected. Obviously, the delivery is much different than what I expected as all my classes were conducted virtually, and some of them were completely asynchronously delivered at that, but the organized/pre-planned consistent structure of lectures and assignments was a pleasant surprise. College professors and instructors really have their courses together, and knowing what is coming in advance, as was the case for all my fall semester courses’ assignments, was really helpful when planning my schedule.
This semester I took ENGL271 Writing Poems and Stories: An Introductory Workshop, a class that serves both as a supporting Arts course and a creative writing major course. In CPSA100, the overarching theme was a look at Arts and Activism. In ENGL271, we explored the topics of racism, sexism, and other forms of discrimination as seen in the world and in literature. We had an assignment to emulate a poem we read about Eric Garner where we’d address an issue in the world that we felt strongly about. I feel like this directly ties into art as a means for activism as we found that using poetry to revere Eric Garner’s life is a palatable means to shed light on the prevalent issue of police brutality as it was presented in a calm and irrefutably heartbreaking way.
I was surprised that podcast as an artform was a major focus of the CPSA100 since we had a class with a guest speaker who spoke to the form and craft of podcast making as well as a semester-long assignment at that. I did expect that we’d focus more on music or visual art and do more analysis of different artforms than we actually did in colloquium. The field trips and guest speakers were absolutely phenomenal; definitely one of the best parts of the course, somehow more fulfilling and enriching than I anticipated something virtually delivered could be.
Zoom University is very similar to my high school experience of Google Meet High School since I stayed home this semester. I feel stagnant and like I haven’t grown much at all this semester. Luckily, I am trying to move out of the house with my family for next semester, which will force me to make some positive lifestyle changes, such as not attending classes from my bed, regularly eating, and being more active. In terms of sophomore year, I’ve been taking life in the pandemic day by day, so we’ll see what I’ll do when the time comes.
The University is doing the best they can with the COVID-19 crisis I suppose. I was surprised that they allowed anyone on campus, and I’ve heard some questionable things about the choices UMD made once the number of cases on campus. However, on campus students did not get sent home, so that is a testament to good enforcement of and good compliance with safety precautions.
The Fandango field trip was very fun and beautiful to take part in, as was the class with Sami and Pepe! I think both sessions focused on music as a means of building community. Writing and singing and dancing together, calling and responding to each other, and merging multiple cultures together is just beautiful. I think that it is important to turn to human connection, especially when times get tough, and it was a lovely way to feel connected within the Arts Scholars community. As a freshman expected to find a place in a new community during the pandemic, it is difficult to connect to people, so those two sessions reminded me that I am in a safe/non-judgemental community of people who also find beauty in creativity and arts. Overall, a lovely shared experience. I think I learned a lot about how to listen and build ideas together, which will be helpful in my future collaborations with my peers, fellow art scholars, and other people in general, especially within the realm of art.
Semester 2
Developing a relationship with faculty
From when I was first introduced to Dr. Amanda Chicoli, the professor who taught NEUR305: Neural Systems and Circuits, during my UNIV100 class last semester, I was looking forward to taking a course with her. While the other neuroscience professors also shared their frustrations at the pandemic and displayed their passion for the field during their presentation of their course, Dr. Chicoli also displayed a large amount of kindness. That isn’t something necessary for her field or for her profession; if anything it leads to more challenges on her end. But she spoke excitedly about how she was able to adjust to online school in a way that was clearly less enjoyable and more tedious for her but created a learning environment her students would enjoy.
At the beginning of my time in NEUR305, I found myself excelling. I aced every assignment, did well on exams, and had been lauded by TA’s for my contributions during discussions. I found myself wanting to see more of Dr. Chicoli from the brief interactions we had during synchronous discussion classes, wanting to go to her to learn more, etc., but realized I had nothing to discuss with her about course-related content, and I didn’t want to waste other people’s time at office hours without any questions. I realized that Dr. Chicoli took undergraduate TA’s, and decided that I would love to be one under her. I scheduled an appointment with her one on one, and not only was she enthusiastic about having me as a future TA, we spend twice the scheduled time together because we got along well. I was hopeful and excited to be able to learn more from her in the coming semester.
Then, as per usual, my typical adversary arose. I fell behind on keeping up with asynchronous lectures, neglected my assignments, and sunk into one of my worse bouts of depression. At first, I thought it would merely result in procrastination, with me pulling through and submitting my assignments semi-successfully just before the deadline, preventing any of my professors or academic cohorts from noticing that I was struggling.
In the midst of my worsening mental state, I took a midterm exam in neuroscience. I knew I had done poorly, but my heart sank two days after the exam when I received a direct personal email from Dr. Chicoli. She was concerned about how I was doing. It happened to be time for office hours, so I left my bed (it was only 2 pm, but I was still in bed due to depression), brushed my teeth and logged onto office hours despite having been socially reclusive for the past week. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I was alone with Dr. Chicoli. She showed me kindness, pointed me towards resources, gave me extensions, and even offered to do work during zoom appointments.
This is less a story of overcoming obstacles and more one of being bogged down by them, but now, at the end of the semester, due to Dr. Chicoli’s kindness and some hard work on my part, I’m ending the semester with a good grade in her course and a friendly relationship with my professor. Dr. Chicoli continued to check-in on me through my period of poor depression, and thought I didn’t end up pulling myself out of it all too gracefully or in a timely manner, she supported me the whole way through. Her kindness meant I wasn’t too anxious to meet with her one-on-one after what was, in my mind, a fall from grace. She continued to indicate that she respected my contributions and cared for me as an individual, even after I faced hospitalization and medical issues.
My advice for in-coming students is to sharpen their eye for good people. If your professor is a good person on top of being good at their job and passionate about their field, even if you are doing well in the class and don’t know how to approach your professor without questions, try to reach out and initiate conversations to build a relationship. It will be helpful down the road if you do end up struggling, or because you’d be looking for a mentor in someone kind enough to lend you guidance and support.
Connecting with Peers
I recited one of my poems in the AAB Poetry slam, which was attended by people in different scholars programs and in different years. I also watched a TV show with Emma Brown, a friend I made in Arts Scholars, and we spent our time analyzing the symbolism, language, animation, and directorial choices of the show for fun. We bonded over having a similar sense of humor in a group chat once, spent some time messaging through Instagram, and eventually ended up bonding over our shared love for analyzing art. I was worried I wouldn’t make any new friends due to everything university-related being conducted virtually, but art has a way of bringing people together, and becoming friends with Emma has been a true comfort to me, especially as she is very understanding of my tendency to socially isolate myself during my more serious struggles with depression. Future freshmen should also try to be active on larger scholars group chats and try to find similar interests with people there as a means to make friends.
Arts Scholars program fostering 'community' and 'artistic engagement'
Break-out-room discussions and discussion-board assignments have been a staple in CPSA courses and in related workshop classes. I think the more informal language used during class has fostered an environment where students are actually comfortable talking to each other and sharing their opinions during discussions, both in Zoom and on ELMS. For example, during my time completing discussion boards for Dead Poet’s Society workshop class, I was able to engage in discourse analyzing a peers poetry with the poet and fellow students, which showed me a new aspect of being a part of an artistic community. One of my favorite aspects of learning is learning from my peers and being able to consider many diverse perspectives, so the Arts Scholars Program has been crafted in a way that best aligns with the most fascinating aspect of learning for me. I hope to continue fostering feelings of community through my role as a Arts Scholars peer mentor next semester, as well as continuing to be an engaged participant in discussions.
Arts Scholars and my relationship with Art
From my time in Dead Poet’s Society, reciting a poem for the AAB Poetry Slam, and participating in Arts Fest, I’ve found that sharing my work, which is incredibly personal and makes me feel very exposed, can serve to be a launching pad for discourse about important subjects and also helps provide a voice for other people who struggle in similar ways to me. Although intimacy and vulnerability still incite fear in me, I’m more willing to put my work out there in hopes of forming connections and doing a positive thing. Creating art can be a way of expressing oneself, but in sharing art, people form connections and gain new insights, which is something future Arts Scholars will hopefully come to learn in their time in the program.
Aspect of Arts program that helped me as an artist
The workshop was the most enriching aspect of this course in terms of honing my skill and versatility as a writer. Not only was I able to write new types of poems and discover my unique voice as a poet, but I was able to receive feedback and learn from how my peers received my poems and the insight they had to offer in terms of their analysis of my poems or specific suggestions about improving the poems I’d shared.Incoming Arts Scholars can look at everything as an opportunity to learn and grow to make the most out of their time in the program.
Semester 3
1. The following questions have been part of the underlying themes of this semester's colloquiums and related activities. How has your experience this semester helped you to interpret and address the major questions relevant to the underlying themes of this semester?
As we spend a lot of class time discussing, learning theory about, and putting in practice the answers to the questions “How can art reshape or recontextualize an understanding of our (individual and societal) learned history, biases, and beliefs?,” “What are the theoretical models and practical strategies for initiating the creative process?,” and “How can we effectively incorporate feedback to revise and refine our ideas with greater depth and clarity?,” my experience attending colloquium has given me a better grasp not only of the answers to those questions, but also putting such knowledge into practice. For instance, after learning about the creative process, each of our assignments for the capstone project sort of followed the format of ideation, research, implementation and revision that goes along with preparation, incubation, illumination, and verification. We also constantly had workshops, so we were able to spend a lot of time practicing giving feedback according to the form of feedback we learned about during colloquium.
2. What is a news-related item that you encountered outside of the colloquium dealing specifically with art as a mechanism for expressing one’s values, beliefs or lived experience that has captured your attention during the last few months?
I’ve noticed a growing trend among people my age where the dissemination of information is largely coming from social media. Despite being the most susceptible to false news and unreliable narrators as everyone has free reign to post on the social platforms, more and more people my age are turning to twitter, instagram, tiktok, etc. Initially, I noticed a trend where I kept discovering different government scandals or news stories either from memes or the reposting of important information to my friend’s social media platforms as an effective means of spreading awareness. Although the meme-led discovery often brought a touch of lightness to whatever disheartening current event was at hand, it felt strange to discover important news through things making fun of the situations. However, due to meme culture and social media’s increased accessibility and the slightly less politically divisive or propaganda-esque institutions of media companies due to be a means of information dissemination for the people by the people, I’ve found that the creative people of my generation have found a way to reclaim the market of marketing through their respective art forms that result in the creation of funny memes, interesting tiktoks, captivating and easy to understand graphics on instagram posts, or witty tweets.
3. From your experience so far, what Arts supporting courses, and/or courses you are taking towards your major, show the most interesting, surprising, and revealing intellectual connections to what you have learned or experienced as an Arts Scholar?
I’ve taken ENGL271 and received AP credit for ENGL240 to fulfill two of my supporting Arts courses, and I am taking THET285 next semester to count as the last of the supporting courses. The first two of these courses also count towards my major and the last one counts for a general education requirement. The one class I have taken so far was what cemented my decision to add the English Creative Writing major as it was the first time I’d been distinguished among my peers for a creative skill. I’d always been surrounded by talented people with awards and creativity who sought out and took advantage of opportunities, and in my more reserved, less out-there professionally way, I’d always find myself unextraordinary (not just ordinary) inn comparison. Now, do I hate competition and comparison among peers? Yes, and I stand by that due to the horrible environments they breed. However, for a professor to provide feedback and single me out and encourage a professional pursuit within creative writing meant that my imposter syndrome could begin to be treated. I was no longer an outsider within the Arts scholars community, or all the different circles of my friends. Obviously my choices and self view shouldn’t be so deeply colored by one person’s validation, but it gave me the courage to take some marginal amount of ownership over my life, pursue my interests, and foster my skills officially.
4. Has your learning was improved by interacting (in or out of class) with fellow Arts Scholars? How so?
I mostly enjoyed planning events with fellow peer mentors or Arts Advisory Board members, as in coming up with, planning, and organizing events that satisfy pentathlon categories while catering to the interests and needs of our peers, I found that I learned how to integrate learning about art with the fun activities of actually making or enjoying art. The living aspect of the LLP (despite not living there) has always been a comfort for me as I’ve enjoyed socializing and spending time with my peers doing fun artsy things that the learning aspect, while occurring, doesn’t feel like a factory-rows based public school system sort of form of formal learning. The learning just happens along with the adventure of it all, which makes it lower stakes and more natural, and thus stick in my head more because the stress of school isn’t as integral to the experience of learning.
5. In what manner have you contributed to the Arts program and community the semester? What opportunities do you wish you were able to leverage to contribute more or in alternative ways?
As copresident of the Arts Advisory Board, I was able to help plan and organize two arts-scholars wide events this semester. Both events were successful, with a good turnout and a lot of engagement by fellow arts scholars. As an event organizer, I was able to facilitate in community bonding. Additionally, as a peer mentor, I’ve hosted events and spent time with the freshman arts scholars, so I was able to foster a welcoming and helpful environment for students who were new to the college experience.
6. Has being in Scholars brought you into contact with people or concepts that challenged your previous beliefs or opinions? What is the value of exploring perspectives that are different from, or challenge, your own?
Personally, I find that being in Arts Scholars hasn’t really brought me in contact with people or concepts that challenged my beliefs or opinions. Scholars programs all laud themselves as being “communities of like-minded individuals,” and they are right to do so— the bulk of the people in the arts scholars program, though unique and different flavors of human beings, share my values. There is always value in having conversations with people of differing values and opinions because it can lead to better understanding and thus harmony between people who would otherwise class. However, I deal with enough of that from my family and as a woman in stem and a person of color in creative writing/English, so it is nice to be in a community of people who share my values and principles. Sure people who differ from me in such aspects may still respect me and try to understand me, but there is a comfort and safety in feeling a sense of belonding, and Arts Scholars has effectively done that for me thus far.
Semester 4
Pentathlon requirements always seemed like they would be the bane of my existence as I started each of my four semesters with Arts Scholars. However, each time they served as a means for me to really reflect on the impact of the various artistic endeavors I pursued. Of course to some extent, I was reaching for meaningful sounding things to say, but in attempting to “bs” something, I always find myself being genuine and learning how I actually feel. Maybe it isn’t “bs,” but rather the true effect that things have on me that I’d never taken time to observe or verbalize. Regardless, in putting things to words on my ePortfolio, I was also later able to discuss the specific things I’d learned and feelings I’d had during different experiences, which helped me later plan events for other students and peers as a peer mentor and member of the Arts Advisory Board.
I always saw art as an instrument for change, but never quite saw the full effects of that. I watched the documentary “La Manplesa” in fall 2021 semester, and also saw the panel of the artists in the film in person in spring 2022 semester. These artists described firsthand how they use their art as a means for activism by putting their voices out there and celebrating their unique diasporic culture. Additionally, I realized after meeting them that Sam and Pepe were guest artists I’d met during a virtual class in Fall 2020 to learn about Fandango. In connecting the dots, I realized that for them, poetry and music was really a means for connecting with their community— a community full of survivors and people with stories; a community whose voices need to be amplified as they continue to be disparaged. In seeing them in person at the panel, I saw the effects not only of their work on several students for whom the story resonated, but also on how their art was what saved them from falling into the pits of relentless sorrow and anger. The importance of art for the larger world and the artist itself really became apparent.
Creating my capstone project has really been a huge learning experience for me. The actual content and construction of the project aside, I learned a lot about my own creative process and what it takes to actually finish a project. The three biggest challenges I faced were narrowing down my scope, finding motivation to actually do work, and letting go of ideas/revision. I had a lot of help from others such as my faculty advisor Heather and my peers in feedback to help me in narrowing down the specific content and focus of my final project and in determining which of my ideas to let go of. After the bulk of the in class feedback process, I began to “kill my darlings” (as we learned in a lesson in CPSA250) on my own, cutting away 15-20 minutes of analysis and content from my final video so that it wouldn’t be all over the place.
I’d been in (and still am to some extent) a fairly profound writer’s block. Some might also call that the major depression I’m going through, but nonetheless, taking creative writing workshop class the first semester of my freshman year as my supplementary arts scholars course, consequently declaring my english major, taking the poetry workshop with Arts Scholars Alum Saxon Brown, and working on poetry for my final arts fest project for my sophomore year arts scholars workshop have all given me ways to temporarily bypass my writer’s block via the form of assignments with stakes. I’ve been able to hone my creative writing talent to a new level by using the feedback I get in workshops from other creative people. I’ve also been able to expand my analytical skills by taking in the analytical perspectives of my peers and also learning more about different academic theories to serve as a frame for my analysis.
As a member and later co-president of the Arts Advisory Board, I was able to host several events for my arts community. We held a 2-for-1 pentathlon event, a poetry slam, movie nights, an open mic event, and a karaoke night in my time with the AAB, and a lot of the ideas offered up and used were mine. Something I kept in mind was picking artistic fields that would be fun for everyone even if they didn’t align with my own skills. For instance, I am an average singer— I’ve never studied singing nor have I been trained in any way, but I love karaoke because it allows for people to sing poorly in front of a crowd but still enjoy singing with friends to music they like. Additionally, karaoke provides an opportunity for my peers in arts scholars who are vocally talented to perform an art form so they can practice their performance and singing skills. I also suggested the open mic for people who wanted to share their art even if it wasn’t singing. With karaoke and the poetry slam, the event narrows down who can present to people who want to share their talent or try something new, but with the open mic, students could choose their art of choice and share their talents without restriction. We had in attendance comedians, poets, singers, and guitarists during our Fall 2021 open mic night, which goes to show that there is a diverse array of artistic talent in our arts scholars community.
As I mentioned before, I learned a lot about my own creative process by working on my capstone project, and I also learned a lot about the function of art in the world. I think by focusing on specificity and intentionality, I can make sure that my own writing will be more impactful for me and my audience going forward as I pursue my degree in the creative writing track of the English major. With respect to my own growth, I hope that art can help me manage my emotions, and that reflecting on my experiences as I’ve learned to in arts scholars can help me be in touch with myself to live a more balanced, fruitful life.